• Nayana Sen

You Don't Have it All Together to Feel Like You're Living Your Best Life

Updated: Apr 9, 2021

There is not a circumstance where you can really have it all together, and you should stop believing that is possible. Your best life isn't some social media ready vacation or reservations at the most exclusive place on Earth. I think we all realized that during the pandemic. Your best life is the one where you are happy and fulfilled.

It's alright to not have it all together. Everyone has something they hide from everyone else. Question is what do you really want? If you focus on what is important to you based on your values and life goals, then you can excel. That is the key to feeling fulfilled; embracing the essence of who you really are in your every day life. When you are so busy living in your own truth, you won't have time to convince others your life is on track. You won't have to do so much to let others believe you have it all together. That has got to be the most freeing thing I have ever felt in my life. I am right where I am supposed to be at this point in my life, and I don't care what others think of my journey.

If you're feeling like you want to prove your worth to someone else, stop right now. If you want to prove anything to anyone, let it be yourself. Prove to yourself that you can be happy and confident, no matter what other people think of you.

Now here are some tips that you can really use if you want to feel like you're moving towards having your proverbial sh@t together. What really is important is you're starting to live authentically.

Let other people believe whatever they want.

I will say this is the hardest thing to master. I won't say I've mastered this, but I am working towards mastery. Other people are allowed to have their opinions and beliefs. We don't need to change other people. You can be friends with people that have different value systems. You can be in a relationship with someone that thinks in a different way. While I don't believe in changing anyone, I do think we get to a point where we have to decide if the relationship is worth the energy it takes to maintain it.

Align yourself with people that have the same life goals.

We are taught all our lives that opposites attract, and that is cool and all, but have you ever just talked to someone who wants the same things out of life as you? Suddenly, you start thinking of ways to accomplish your goals instead of whether they are possible. It's true that when you start searching for more meaning, a few people will show up that make you think they have it all together. Look past the actor portrayal to see people for who they really are.

There are a lot of entitled people on the path to enlightenment.

When you do a Google search, the first few results may not be exactly what you were looking for, as they are either paid advertisements or they have good SEO. Sometimes you find what you need after a few clicks or changing your query. This is the same for finding what you're looking for in other people. Don't settle for the first search result. Have faith that you're on the right path, no matter who crossed it. The truth is the more you're willing to search, the more you are likely to find people who are aligned with your life goals. It is a crucial part of your growth and personal development to find people who want what you want out of life.

If you're the sit at home and watch TV type or the let’s go out to the bar every weekend type, then we just do not have the same life goals. Nothing wrong with your goals or your methods, they are your own. I wish you nothing but the best, but I'm going to be busy living my best life by pushing myself physically, spiritually, and financially. That is me and I'm not in a place in my life where I need to negotiate anymore. So, what's in it for me?

Don't take advice from people who don't want to see you do well.

Most people want to see you do well, as long as it's not better than they are doing. As long as you don't exceed them in any way, they want you to do well. To this end, don't tell anyone you are going for something bigger or better, until you do have some of your stuff together. That may mean you take some time figure somethings out or learn something. You don't need to make an announcement about everything you are going to do. I know it sounds harsh, but people you already know and trust may not be the right support system for the next part of your journey. Are you willing to grow regardless? You have to seek out people that want to see you grow, and can help you. If you can't find someone in your immediate circle, then look beyond your normal circle. I have worked with a coach to get myself to the point I am today. I couldn't have done it alone. I am lucky that I was able to afford that, but network if you can't get a coach. Read books by successful people. Spend most of your time consuming positive and useful content. Little by little you will see that your entire perspective has changed, and you find yourself happy.

You will probably lose a few friends and such, but you can be sure that the real ones will support you no matter what. Sometimes people don't really know how to support you, even if they are actually very supportive. These people will be in your corner, even if they can't help you. Always find a way to keep these people in your life. Not everyone knows how to express their feelings or sentiments, but you know they are happy for you. I bet you can think of at least one person like this right now. Since I've started my blog/podcast/music career, I've had many people reach out to me and tell me they are proud of me. These are people I used to be close with, but life has changed courses for us somehow. It is an amazing feeling to know people genuinely care about me, even though we are not close friends anymore.

When you draw a line in the sand, just remember it's sand, not cement.

I thought of this line a while ago when I wanted to say it to a friend of mine. I didn't say it, but I am saying it here. Life is movement. It is continuous movement, and yet we make rules for ourselves for everything that are counterintuitive to the flow of life. Your happiness is dependent on your willingness to be easy with yourself. How many times have you said I'll be happy if I get the promotion? Maybe your vision of your best life is losing the weight. If you keep waiting to feel good, your life is going to pass you by. You're here and that is sufficient. Things eventually do work out for the best, but you don't have to pretend like you have it all together in the meantime. Enjoy your life.

The thing is we can't be so rigid and create so many rules for ourselves. We will never live up to our own expectations that way. It is a great way to feel like you aren't good enough or that you just don't have it all together. The lines you draw in the sand can be erased by the tide. That is the beauty of life, we don't get to control the tide. We just have to ride the waves. If you can take one rule that you made to determine your happiness and draw the line a little further in the sand, then you have grown. Who know what you discover in that space between yourself and the lines you've drawn for yourself. You don't have to have everything figured out today. In fact, if we were meant to know everything upfront, we would have been born with a manual in our hands. If you can trust the timing of your life, you can be happy where you are. You can feel fulfilled, even if you haven't met all your goals.

In the end, everything works out the way it is supposed to! Cheers to your growth and mine. When do we get to do a real life toast?

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