THE X-FACTOR: #CONFIDENCE
They say fake it until you make it. Yet, pretending to be confident rarely convinces anyone. Fake confidence comes off as just that, fake. Real confidence is the moment in time where that voice inside you says "you got this."
Your energy speaks long before you do. When you enter a room or when you meet a client, your energy is already speaking on your behalf. Are you confident? I mean really confident. We talk about growth, but without confidence you will be back in the same position you are starting in shortly. You will try to talk yourself out of whatever you are going for...it's normal. I would worry if you didn't. It is a part of the process, but in the end you have to have enough self-confidence to know you're doing the right thing. I don't mean to discourage you from anything, but work on this aspect of yourself first.
What is self-confidence?
Maybe you are confident about your career or your skills. It is entirely possible you feel confident in how you look. It is then a question of would you feel the same if that aspect of you changes? What if you stop getting recognition for being the smartest person in the room? Most people have something they feel confident in, but that is not the same thing as true confidence. In fact, if taking away that external validation would cause you significant loss of confidence, then think about how truly vulnerable you are in this situation.
True self-confidence has little to do with what you've accomplished and everything to do with your belief in yourself. It is a deep knowing that you are enough. You do not need to compete with anyone for your value. Self-confidence comes from trusting yourself and from committing to your own happiness. Whatever you are faced with in life, you will face and deal with. You will take action as needed. You know that because you have made a commitment to yourself and you intend on honoring that promise to yourself.
Confidence is the thing that gets you noticed in a crowd. When you trust yourself, then others trust you as well. We often can't quite pinpoint what we find attractive about another person, but we know they just have it.
How do you build up your self-confidence?
Take it from a person that had to build her confidence back up after a tumultuous 10-years, it takes some work. Bad news is there are no shortcuts to feeling good about yourself. Good news is the work you do to improve your self-confidence will have long lasting impacts on your life.
There is no such thing as time wasted when it comes to developing your self-confidence.
Let's start by deciding why you have lost your confidence in the first place. I'm a big believer in fixing the root of the problem before addressing the symptoms. I find that as we get older, we tend to get so consumed in the day-to-day things that we forget to take adequate care of our own needs. The only real way to improve your confidence is to make yourself and your goals a priority. You have to make time to take care of yourself. You will always hold yourself back in life, unless you deal with the self-confidence issues.
When you decide that you are a priority in your own life, then you will experience a monumental change. You will treat yourself better, and expect others to do the same. It is not really a secret, but the most confident people love themselves. Am I right?
Here are some additional thoughts on confidence.
If you can't change something about yourself, learn to embrace it.
Don't compare your struggle to someone else's success. You don't know what they had to do to get here or what they are struggling with now.
You do not have to change yourself to be worthy of anyone's love. Attention is not the same thing as affection.
Sometimes the only thing to do is just let things fall apart and rebuild from there.
Even The Beatles were rejected by someone who didn't think they had star power, yet no one remembers that person's name. Keep going.
Some Quotes about confidence.
Here are some quotes about confidence to help inspire you in your journey. Print them, pin them, or just post them. Whatever you have to do to make them stick!
Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.
– Lucille Ball
Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.
- Norman Vincent Peale
We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be?
— Marianne Williamson
Love who you are, embrace who you are. Love yourself. When you love yourself, people can kind of pick up on that: they can see confidence, they can see self-esteem, and naturally, people gravitate towards you.
- Lilly Singh
If you are insecure, guess what? The rest of the world is, too. Do not overestimate the competition and underestimate yourself. You are better than you think.
— T. Harv Eker
Cheers to your growth and mine!