• Nayana Sen

Don't Let Others Do These Things

Updated: Dec 27, 2020

Personal development is such a thing that we have to unlearn a lot of things, and reinvent ourselves under our own rules. The happiest people you know all are living authentically. Don't let others do these 4 things including define you, steal your joy, control your life, and steal your peace. While you are figuring out what role you will allow others to have in your new life, also consider how to live without letting the opinion of others affect you in a way that is counterproductive to your own growth.

Don't Let Others Define You.

You are unique and you were not meant to be a replica of anyone else. You don't have to live up to anyone else's expectations to be valued or loved. Your hopes, your dreams, and your goals all belong to you.

Be yourself and don't let anyone define who you are.

You've probably heard the term don't let others define you before. What does that even mean? It means you're living up to someone else's expectations of your life. Let's be honest, everyone has some social expectations they have to live up to and within. Even the free spirits you know have to live up to that expectation. The difference is who assigned them that role in life? Was it something they decided for themselves?

No one is or ever has been happy pretending to be someone other than who they are in the inside. It is a surefire way to resent someone or end up with regrets. You have to figure out what you want and figure out how to get it. Your circumstances and your history don't define you. Your ambition, your talent, and your energy define you.

Your happiness belongs to you and only you get to define what that means for you. You get to define yourself and what makes you truly feel like you're living the life of your dreams. Don't you dare negotiate.

Don't Let Others Steal your Joy.

Your purpose is to find joy in your life. We all know people that are toxic for our mental health. These people are miserable in their own lives, and want to ensure everyone is equally as miserable. It's not their fault necessarily, but you can't let anyone else steal your joy. It’s hard to change the dynamics of certain relationships, but you don't have to participate in negativity. You can love and care for people without letting their negative energy impact your emotional well-being.

Consider your happiness a priority and then act accordingly.

Don't let others steal your joy under any circumstance. It is not easy, but setting boundaries is a must for anyone looking to grow. Don't let anyone get you feeling down about yourself or your life choices. Treat your own happiness as a priority and let yourself enjoy the things that bring you the most joy.

Don't Let Others Control your Life.

What does the word control mean for you? I am a firm believer that no one gets to tell me how to think or feel. I am capable of making those decisions for myself, but control isn't always so obvious. Sometimes it's subtle in the way a person makes you feel bad about yourself and gets you to question your life choices. It's the way they get you to second guess yourself about the smallest things. Love is not controlling, it allows each person to grow to the best of their abilities. If you feel like the relationship (doesn't have to be intimate) with someone is based on control, then you have to establish some boundaries.

If you can't change the situation, then you can at least change your response to the stimuli.

You do not need anyone to control your life. You are a person with life experience and stories. You have every right to determine the course for your life. Learn to identify the ways someone may be controlling you and deal with the situation. Seek help from a trusted friend, family member, counselor, or someone who genuinely wants to help you.

Don't Let Others Steal your Peace.

The older you get, the more you realize that you want peace in your life. You want your home to be a place of comfort and your safe-harbor. Most people want peace in their life after a certain age, unless they happen to be one of the housewives of whatever town on TV. It's time to get very selective in who you allow to be in your life because that has a direct correlation to your peace of mind.

If the relationship doesn't bring peace, then it's not worth your time.

Don't allow anyone to steal your peace. You have worked too hard and have lived through too much to settle for anything less. In this moment you have the power to decide what brings you peace. If that means letting someone else win the argument, so that you can focus on bigger and better things, let them win. In fact, get comfortable with only explaining yourself to those who deserve an explanation. You do not owe anyone your personal peace. You owe yourself the gift of peace of mind.

Don't Let the Opinion of Others Affect you.

This is so easy to say, but very hard to implement. As social creatures we do need and seek the input of other people as a form of acceptance and validation. At some point though, you're going to have to let your own opinion be your guide. Leaders do not wait for the opinions of others to make decisions. They trust themselves and follow through on their vision. They use their intuition and instinct to make their way in the world. You can take advice, especially from those who have already made the journey before you, but do not accept the opinions of others as your own. Some people in your circle may not want to see you actually succeed. Please learn who these folks are so that you don't rely on them for any kind of advice. In fact, you may want to reevaluate those relationships.

Your self-worth cannot be contingent on anyone else's opinion of you.

Cheers to your growth and mine.

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